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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

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Wednesday, November 30, 2005 Empty Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Post by tabooXchanz Fri 09 Feb 2007, 8:18 pm

Human Hearts for Rocket Ships
Current mood: cold

My hands are shaking. It's not that my hands don't often shake but I think they're a bit more tremulous than usual. As I type this in a showcase of my inability to still them I realize that the shaking may not be simply from today's substitute of two Peet's Soy Gingerbread Latte's for food, but also a result of me having a run in with 7am this morning. The ol insomnia crept in to say Bienvenidos a su Casa! I am home and she didn't forget to leave the light on.

The lights are off now. The lights are off except for the room I'm in. I do that a lot. I leave the lights off in the rest of the house and end up sitting in glow of the monitor in this side room. Is that strange? I figure why bother, no one else is here. I suppose when Sean and Amy show up for dinner in an hour it will look like no one is home. I should turn the porch light on. It's the right thing to do.


It had been a while since I had interacted with the road. I mean, I had driven down south eight months ago but I didn't make a stop. This time however, full of Kombucha and bravery I hit a truck stop... Loves I believe it was - Loves, Flying J's...all the truck stops are the same.It really makes no difference. Enjoying the truck stop experience is something everyone should do once in a while just to re affirm the importance of our culutral epicenters. Each roadside oasis is a deposit of what most of america is like. I encourage anyone who may have become too comfortable in their big city skin to check it out. It'll freak you out. It freaks me out. It let's you ask the question "Is it okay that there is, in this giant store which boasts having everything a road soldier may need, an entire aisle dedicated to beef jerky yet no safety pins?" Do you think it's okay? I don't. I think maybe they could have traded just one of those rows of Cowschitz's finest for some safety pins. Maybe it's just me. Seems I've been off the road for a while.

I had to do without the safety pins and entirely forgo the array of jerkeys dead for the taking (though it was oh, oh so tempting) and yet, I made it here. My purse is still broken and unpinned but I made it.

I started purging around 9pm last night. Really it lasted until about five O'clock today. When I got home and realized the amount stuff packed into my little dwelling I felt like a socialite heiress who had realized she'd just downed a whole bday cake. Everything had to go and it had to go immediately. Clothes went in bags, boxes, garbage cans. I got rid of about two thirds of my wardrobe among many other things that really had no place in my home any longer. I mean, how many pairs of worn black socks and fuzzy white handcuffs does someone need? Christ. That finger down the throat of my monochramtic closet and overflowing crap recepticals was quite the relief. Please excuse the crude analogy but boy, I do feel so much skinnier and prettier. I'm ready for my close up now.

The folks don't know I'm back in Northern California. When I'm gone they come and stay in my house. It works out wonderfully because they enjoy it as means of retreat from the small town living and I luck out in major way as they take care of my place. However, upon returning home this time I've found a tiny television sitting upon a milk crate in my side room. Now, first off, I hate television. I don't have one which is why they found it necessary to bring this little beast into the purity of my side room. Secondly, can we talk about it sitting on a milk crate? It's really killing me. Velvet couches, art on the walls, red fuzzy pillows, mood lighting from Noguchi...and a tv atop a milk crate on the floor. It's got one of those bunny eared antenna things on top of it too. It's not okay. Really, trust me. I have a plan though. I'm gonna bring it up when I go to visit them and as they dont' know I'm here, I'll put it on the doorstep, ring the doorbell and go around back. Cute right? Don't tell'm my plan.

Well, before I head further north to act out that little business above, I'm to spend a few more hours with the family here. I truly missed everyone. It seems as though I'd been holding my breath through Hollywood for months without even knowing it. This is my exhale. It's cold, quiet...often dead silent, but it's how I breathe. We'll see how it goes.


I'm a mess. I better straighten up before San Francisco sees me. Wish me luck. I'll be back to purge here again soon.

my hands stopped shaking,
DXH

Currently listening :
First and Last and Always
By Sisters of Mercy
Release date: By 25 October, 1990

11:52 PM
tabooXchanz
tabooXchanz
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Number of posts : 1063
Age : 36
Location : Saint Andrew (Jamaica)
Job : Student
Hobbies : singing, listening to music, computers, tech toys, AFI
Registration date : 2007-01-31

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