Rigor Mortis by ~LEeLoO12(Deviant ID)
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Rigor Mortis by ~LEeLoO12(Deviant ID)
Lying still
Succumed to your betrayal
Shocked and stiff
Your body has become frail
Cold and crippled
Praying you don't return
Bloody malicious eyes
Eternally you will burn
Hollow dead eyes
Wrapped fingers round your neck
Limp arms fall to your sides
Apparantly you are dead
I killed you
I'm not ashamed
And now you have
No one to blame
I killed you
You did it yourself
And you can ask
No one for help
Author's Comments
Ummm, i think the last 8 lines makes it all worth it. Also I find that writing fixed poems are not my strong point *stop rhyming alana!!!* I need to also stop saying "YOU" I always have a you in my poems...ah well.
Succumed to your betrayal
Shocked and stiff
Your body has become frail
Cold and crippled
Praying you don't return
Bloody malicious eyes
Eternally you will burn
Hollow dead eyes
Wrapped fingers round your neck
Limp arms fall to your sides
Apparantly you are dead
I killed you
I'm not ashamed
And now you have
No one to blame
I killed you
You did it yourself
And you can ask
No one for help
Author's Comments
Ummm, i think the last 8 lines makes it all worth it. Also I find that writing fixed poems are not my strong point *stop rhyming alana!!!* I need to also stop saying "YOU" I always have a you in my poems...ah well.
Re: Rigor Mortis by ~LEeLoO12(Deviant ID)
I am so lost at this point. Please help me. Whats going on here?
jr- Protege
- Number of posts : 132
Age : 34
Location : Kingston/Jamaica
Registration date : 2007-12-03
Re: Rigor Mortis by ~LEeLoO12(Deviant ID)
u wud hav to ask the author what she is trying to portray..i have my own feelings to what she means...maybe you could form some too
Last edited by on Sat 08 Dec 2007, 1:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
Re: Rigor Mortis by ~LEeLoO12(Deviant ID)
OMG, this poem is sooooooooo good.
ive tried my hands at poems of death and could never create something like this.
ive tried my hands at poems of death and could never create something like this.
GEOvanne- Dragon
- Number of posts : 251
Age : 35
Location : my lair
Job : Burninator
Hobbies : burninating
Registration date : 2007-12-01
Re: Rigor Mortis by ~LEeLoO12(Deviant ID)
Wow, it's so morbid . I love the way that they make u feel the poem, not many ppl can do that.
Death metal kid Max- Protege
- Number of posts : 60
Age : 35
Location : Jamaica
Job : Banker, Sorceror, Elementalist.
Hobbies : Witchcraft
Registration date : 2007-12-01
Re: Rigor Mortis by ~LEeLoO12(Deviant ID)
Were you in a state of deression, when you attempted to do this?GEOvanne wrote:I've tried my hands at poems of death and could never create something like this.
I'll be trying this myself, the next time I get ultra depressed.
Re: Rigor Mortis by ~LEeLoO12(Deviant ID)
no, i WASNT in a state of depression. im better at drawing that stuff, AND i dont have to be depressed to do it
GEOvanne- Dragon
- Number of posts : 251
Age : 35
Location : my lair
Job : Burninator
Hobbies : burninating
Registration date : 2007-12-01
Re: Rigor Mortis by ~LEeLoO12(Deviant ID)
naw, i dont care anymore
GEOvanne- Dragon
- Number of posts : 251
Age : 35
Location : my lair
Job : Burninator
Hobbies : burninating
Registration date : 2007-12-01
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