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Rigor Mortis by ~LEeLoO12(Deviant ID)

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Post by tabooXchanz Wed 05 Dec 2007, 2:28 am

Lying still
Succumed to your betrayal
Shocked and stiff
Your body has become frail

Cold and crippled
Praying you don't return
Bloody malicious eyes
Eternally you will burn

Hollow dead eyes
Wrapped fingers round your neck
Limp arms fall to your sides
Apparantly you are dead

I killed you
I'm not ashamed
And now you have
No one to blame

I killed you
You did it yourself
And you can ask
No one for help




Author's Comments

Ummm, i think the last 8 lines makes it all worth it. Also I find that writing fixed poems are not my strong point *stop rhyming alana!!!* I need to also stop saying "YOU" I always have a you in my poems...ah well.
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Post by tabooXchanz Wed 05 Dec 2007, 2:44 am

its morbidity appeals to me
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Post by jr Wed 05 Dec 2007, 2:46 am

I am so lost at this point. Please help me. Whats going on here?
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Post by tabooXchanz Wed 05 Dec 2007, 2:50 am

u wud hav to ask the author what she is trying to portray..i have my own feelings to what she means...maybe you could form some too


Last edited by on Sat 08 Dec 2007, 1:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by GEOvanne Thu 06 Dec 2007, 9:03 pm

OMG, this poem is sooooooooo good.
ive tried my hands at poems of death and could never create something like this.
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Post by Death metal kid Max Sat 08 Dec 2007, 11:55 am

Wow, it's so morbid Shocked. I love the way that they make u feel the poem, not many ppl can do that.
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Post by Snyper Sat 08 Dec 2007, 4:16 pm

GEOvanne wrote:I've tried my hands at poems of death and could never create something like this.
Were you in a state of deression, when you attempted to do this?
I'll be trying this myself, the next time I get ultra depressed.
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Post by GEOvanne Sat 08 Dec 2007, 9:01 pm

no, i WASNT in a state of depression. im better at drawing that stuff, AND i dont have to be depressed to do it
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Post by Snyper Sat 08 Dec 2007, 9:05 pm

You just need to try harder then.
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Post by GEOvanne Sat 08 Dec 2007, 9:18 pm

naw, i dont care anymore
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