Sunday, January 8, 2006

that's what happens when you leave him alone
Current mood: sleepy

My deck seemed one hundred times bigger than it actually is and the night sky was deep, so dark, and rich. It felt as if you could reach up and feel it but only at the risk of becoming a part of it.

I was on the phone with Amber, trying to figure out why she was angry. She's never cross with me though I most certainly deserve it at times, yet now, she was berating me for being friendly to some young kid who sported a stupid fashion hawk and ill appropriated eye liner. As I paced - I always pace when I'm on the phone - I tried to reason with her. "Hey," I said, "If I had had sex with this kid I'd expect you to be nice to him. I don't understand what I did wrong." Stranger than my reasoning was what came on the winds.

Like a fleet of strange night birds flying in fighter plane formation, the deep red balloons swarmed through the viscus night. They weaved and dove, snakelike - like a chinese dragon. There were about ten of them. They came with the sound of silver and static on latex, and they were quite alive.

The entire situation had an urgency to it. The balloons were ominous, and I knew I shouldn't remain on the deck but for some reason I had to resolve the situation on the phone before retreating into the house. I paced and spoke frantically as the balloons beat loudly overhead....

It's been a few days since new years eve but I must attribute this dream to that evening. Combined with my unique sleeping schedule, the evening's events give the whole thing a halfway decent inspiration.

Really I don't like New Years Eve. I find it to be just another excuse for civilians to become even more drunk and obnoxious than they are inclined to be on an average evening. As Nick 13 can attest to, I've spent most of my NYE's baby sitting my little brother or sitting at home by my own accord. One NYE Jade and I wrote the intro to Black Sails.


I believe I've gone out on for New Years' only three times: once to DJ with Aaron, Omar and Nakko, once to see Rocket From the Crypt with Andrew Champion (this must've been 97 because I remember singing Hook Line and Sinker as we waited in line -STFTFOD was definitely one of my favorite albums of that year,) and once to see VNV nation. VNV was the first time I was really excited to go out. N13 and Masuimi were there looking fantastic. Jade made an appearance for the event and I arrived with a unibomber looking Precious and my lil bro. On the turn of Midnight Michael said "Hey just because I'm you're little brother doesn't mean we don't get to make out. Right?" Though we may have a different sense of fashion, we're obviously brothers.

This year was very nice. I had the east bay family over for a very quiet evening. From the deck we watched the fireworks bloom over the bay and illuminate the At-At - like cranes standing ridged next to the Bay Bridge. We drank Navarro grape juice from dumb, disposable plastic cups. Dad got me the juice for Santa Day. Love the juice, hated the cups, but hey, sxe kids aren't known for their fancy wine glasses. We ate Vegan Vanilla Bean cake. Brittany thought it tasted like Play- Doe but our representative from OC, Mr. Tommy Love, was feelin' it so much that he took half of it home with him. Just to let you know both cake critics are non vegans. I liked the cake.

Eventually we noticed a metallic disc floating above the neighborhood. On the deck above us the neighbors in their party hats cheered at its bobbing form and they seemed to be responsible for guiding the UFO through the newborn 06 night sky. I figured it was one of those deals that you can order from Sharper Image or those horrible catalogues on the plane. My neighbor Stephanie later informed me that it was just an escaped Mylar balloon. Shem can attest that it really did look like it was being guided by some outside force and in fact flying, rather than just floating away. I swear it did. I figure this Mylar expereince had something to do with the dream recounted a million words back so, there ya go. Took me this long to tie it all together but you can't really be surprised. You should know by now, brevity is not my style.

I'll try not to open with dreams anymore. It was so vivd I felt like writing it down so you, my poor spacers, are the victim of this particular tiresome self indulgence. I surely don't want to hear or read about anyone's dreams.

Allow me to start over.

I had knocked the bag off of the bar seat as I squeezed by the two women to go ask RJ about some HXC crew with a stupid name. I picked the bag up, hung it back on the chair and apologized. Upon returning I found that Francis had left me and that the woman was replacing the bag once more. She informed me that the bag had fallen again and I assured her that were I there, I'd have replaced it for her. She said that she would have expected nothing less from such a nice young man.
The coffee shop was full and the three of us were at a bar facing the filthy downtown street.
"The bag IS hung quite precariously." I said. The Mother noted it's appropriate placement. "A precarious placement for a precarious gift."
The two women were mother and daughter. The daughter appeared to be a few years younger than I, they both were quite friendly and the mother seemed to have an excitement for something that she was dying to share. And share she did.

I learned that in the ever falling bag was a gift for a baby that does not exist. No, not an unborn baby, but a baby that has yet to be conceived. A gift for a baby that the Mother was hoping would soon be conceived and born to thus elevate her to the deeply desired status of Grandmother. The daughter didn't quite share the enthusiasm. Little weird right?

The two women and I mused on the common desire of Mothers to make that generational leap to Grandmother and I noted how my Mom probably felt the same, but certainly was not going to have any luck with me. Francis returned to his seat just in time to hear her offer "Well, you could have a baby with my daughter."
I told her that though I appreciated the offer, perhaps my Mom could just come hold the baby once her daughter has found a more appropriate father." Francis didn't quite know what he had walked into. I wasn't so sure myself.
At this point the woman - mother to a seemingly friendly yet now somewhat embarrassed daughter and wife to a Fed who lives in Wisconsin - asked if I'd like to see the gift she got for her nonexistent grandchild. Of course I did.
She freed the bag once more from the chair and opened it to reveal a small plastic bag filled with petite felt cones. These cones, as could be learned from reading the packaging, were "pee-pee tee-pees." The Mom explained that during changing, they can be placed upon a baby boy (guess she was hoping for a boy) to prevent an unwanted golden shower. They come with either star print, or airplanes and this particular bag contained baby blue cones with black airplanes wrapping around them. The airplanes were chosen because the girl's husband is a pilot. I couldn't help but wonder what this pilot would think of his mother in law's suggestion that I impregnate his wife.
The Mom offered to open the package and give me a tee pee and despite my hesitancy to ruin the gift, she insisted. I accepted with "I'm not gonna pretend that I'm not into this sort of thing," and thanked her.
The conversation continued a bit. Francis and I explained our veganism and drug free lifestyles. The Mother asked if we attended highschools "that met our needs." Don't ask me.
The friendly ladies said goodbye and the mother exclaimed "Nice to meet you Davey. Maybe after all this you'll someday write a book on the many uses of a Pee-Pee Tee-Pee, and you'll become famous."
I did not get to impregnate the daughter but I left with a Tee Pee which now sits atop a rabbit in my kitchen. Francis left with the conclusion that the jubilant pair walked away saying "Isn't it nice? On our first trip to Berkeley we met the sweetest gay couple!"

RJ was here earlier with Shelly. Shem went to sleep. Nick is emailing me now. Francis was going to join me in some hot water but abandoned me and as a result, I wrote this. Blame Francis.

My stolen cat has returned. Perhaps my house meets her needs.

until something happens,

DXH

Currently listening :
Children of God/World of Skin
By Swans
Release date: By 27 May, 2003

3:30 AM